You’ve done your soul-searching, attempted the “time apart” thing, and dated some other mediocre women, and you’ve come to the understanding that things aren’t going to get any better. When you let her leave, you made a major mistake.
And now you’re clamouring for her return.
It’s not necessarily too late to rekindle your feelings for your ex, but don’t rush into anything. You want to do it right, which means re-engaging with more prudence and confidence than ever before.
So, for Round Two, here are tips on how to approach her.
The Psychology of Getting Her Back
The Steps You Need to Take First of all, put in a great deal of time to figure out why the relationship failed in the first place, particularly the “cause” of the break-up. For many, the cause is deeply ingrained emotional baggage and unresolved issues from early childhood, especially in their mother.
It is possible to work through these issues in the relationship after the breakup, if the person wants to do that, but it is usually easier if the person has already experienced them with the other person.
If the person isn’t ready, or if it isn’t safe, then it’s not likely to get better. If you think this is what happened in your relationship, then the first thing you need to do is heal your wounds.
Making Her Miss You
She is going to miss you and crave you, just because she is out of your life. You need to miss her first and crave her later. Whenever you meet her in person, you have to make her miss you. It is good to pursue, but you need to go overboard in it.
She will crave you. Here is one of the best ways to make your ex miss you. If you start showing off your relationship with her, then it will start making her miss you. When she misses you, she wants to meet you.
Make sure to Do things you want to do with her. Do all the little things that you like to do with her, even the things that she likes doing. Do things that show that you still think about her all the time.
How to get her back using social media
Even if you don’t want to communicate directly with her anymore, you may need to send her a nice note, just to let her know you’re thinking about her, or keep in touch just to be friends.
According to WebMD, “Partners who feel ignored or neglected may become overly involved in their online social relationships,” meaning it may be easier to find her online than to find her in real life. So long as you are honest with her, and come clean about the emotional pain you’re feeling, it may just work.
If that doesn’t work, start with the recent purchases she’s made for herself — her hobbies, new work clothes, new laptop, new makeup, and start tracking them. “When you look online for your partner, be sure to look for evidence that she is doing the same thing for herself, as well.
Use negative comments to your advantage
Negative comments, normally spoken by your partner when you aren’t around, will often trigger excitement and a feeling of connection to your partner. This is the exact opposite of their original statement.
This type of small denial opens up a dialogue between you two where you can explain what they meant, find a solution and finally move on.
Pay attention Yes, you may hear your partner and family talking about something you did, something you said, or some stupid stuff you did. Yup, it happens. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You did what you thought was best at the time. Know that that time is long behind you.
Show her that you’ve changed
The first thing to do is make yourself a better person. If you’ve been being a jerk for her to dump you, you need to change your behaviour. Leave her alone and go out with other girls for a bit. Chances are you can’t make that big of a change in 30 days.
However, do it slowly over a couple of weeks and she will begin to notice that something has changed about you. Next, see if she wants to be friends. Talking to her will give you an opportunity to say what you want out of the relationship.
Ask what she wants in a relationship and if she tells you she wants something different, break up. Clear the air She may think you don’t care about her anymore. Try and get her to talk to you, if she refuses, see if you can discuss the breakup face-to-face.
Show how sorry you are
Telling your partner you are sorry will help you regain trust, especially if you really feel guilty for hurting her. In a long distance relationship, it is extremely important for you to express your feelings in the most transparent way.
On the other hand, your partner needs time to process your statements. Also, don’t blame her or accuse her of doing something wrong. Don’t avoid apologizing. It will also help her understand your feelings. In some cases, your apologies will help her forgive you.
Ask her is she willing to forgive you. She might be reluctant to forgive you for a few reasons. She might be afraid you will get back together with her. However, this is a wrong assumption.
You can easily avoid such situations by remaining true to your feelings.
Meet up with friends as a group
Get together with friends for the sole purpose of talking. Set up an informal hangout with the goal of talking about your issues. “A lot of women, especially after having a bad breakup, just want to sit in silence,” Alle says. “But talking about feelings is healing. It helps release the pain and makes it easier to move on. Your friends can be your therapists.
You can also develop a new rapport with your friends so it’s like you’re meeting them for the first time. All of this makes it easier for you to start afresh and hopefully get back with your ex.” Tune into your brain Don’t let bitterness seep into your personality.
Consciously turn off any feelings of rage or resentment you have. For example, you may find that you are acting hostile towards your ex without even knowing it.
Don’t repeat your mistake if you really love her. You definitely care about her feelings and never try to hurt her again if she doesn’t want to patch you with you. Be a man with pure heart she definitely gets back to you if you stay what you are.